The flames of the Samhain Fire rose high into the air, each member of the clan was leaving their own fires to congregate and celebrate the festival of the ancestors. Tonight was the night when the spirits walked, when the veil between the worlds lifted and mortals sought the succour of those who had passed beyond. A night for celebrating the end of the old year - the start of the winter and preparing for the new year to come.
Arianna reluctantly left the stark, solitary comfort of her own hearth to head for the ceremonial blaze. A frown of worry creased her brow. Her husband was late in returning from his trading in the neighbouring villages and she was concerned. Suddenly a cry of joyous recognition escaped her as she spotted Kodros entering the circle of the encampment. He was leading his horse and carried something close to his chest. It appeared that he was talking to whatever was contained within the bundle he had strapped in a sling across the front of his body. Curiously she approached him.
"Greetings to you husband." she said. "What kept you so late, and what is it you carry so close?"
She placed a hand on his arm and raised her visage to regard him.
"Beloved," he replied, reaching out to trace the lines of worry on her face, "here is surely a gift from the gods."
As he spoke a slight mewling arose from the bundle and it moved slightly as though trying to merge itself with them both. The sound, immediately recognisable as being that of a baby, froze Arianna in place. Since their marriage, four cycles ago, Arianna and Kodros had been desperate for children. Indeed Arianna had conceived each year but had yet to give birth to a live child. Her losses were become a thing of legend and the women of the village considered her a jinx ... now no longer deigning to attend her labours. Her most recent loss was barely quarter of a moon past, the pregnancy running full term as usual, but yet the child had once again been still born.
Keeping her eyes on her husband's face, barely daring to breathe, Arianna lifted the swaddling from the wriggling form. Cautiously she lowered her eyes to peek at the infant. A small red face was revealed, a nose which was sharply defined and a shock of dark hair topped the fractious, restless head. Then the baby opened its eyes and a pair of deep dark irises, with a strange light appearing to shine from them, stared up at her. The mewling cry changed to a deep cooing as the child opened its mouth and pushed its tongue forward as if testing the air.
Carefully, Kodros helped Arianna to remove the baby from the sling he had fashioned and place the tiny body against her breast. Instinctively the child turned its mouth to her, seeking the source of nourishment it needed. With a sigh of relief she pushed aside the folds of her garments and guided the small lips to her nipple, letting the child suckle whilst Kodros explained where - and in what circumstances - he had found the baby.
"It was at the foot of the pass that I heard his cries," he said, "and there he was, lying on the moss-covered ground - naked and covered in gore. His afterbirth was still attached and though it was cooling it was an obvious sign that the babe was yet newly delivered of his mother. I pulled off some of the cloths covering the cheeses and used them for swaddling. I cut his cord and wrapped the afterbirth, then I searched for signs of his mother, but there was none, nor was there any sign of a struggle. It was as if the gods had truly dropped him in my path. A child of our own to replace those lost, to reward us for our patience in these past years. So I gathered him to my chest and made straight here for you."
He again touched his wife's face, noting that the haggard frown she had previously worn had disappeared and now her visage was alight with joy. The lines caused by past years of disappointment were gone and instead he saw the young beauty he had married standing once again before him, that was truly a gift from the gods.
Kodros picketed his horse and lay his packages down inside the doorway to their home. Knowing that he was late he now wanted to make all possible haste to join the clan celebrations, especially now that they had a special event of their own to give thanks for. At his urging he and Arianna, the baby still at her breast, moved to join the circle at the fire.
After the Priest had blessed the harvest crops and asked for protection for the coming year he began the family blessings. Kodros pushed his newly formed family closer to Phaedron, The Priest. When the last of the other families had begged their blessings he indicated that he too sought favour from the Priest.
"I beg that you bestow a blessing on our new born son." He said, taking the child from his wife's arms and holding him high - as if in offering.
Phaedron reached for the infant who was now staring steadfastly into Kodros' face. Kodros gave the boy to the priest and then reached into his pack for the afterbirth.
The Priest, holding the child above his head, circled the fire once sunwards and on returning to the stone slab that served as a ceremonial alter he directed his eyes to Arianna and Kodros. Noting the joy on their faces, and mindful of the tragedy that had surrounded their attempts to start a family in the past - he bagan the naming ceremony.
"I name this child 'Mellis', for surely he has brought joy and sweetness to his parents' lives. I pray his life will be long and fruitful and that his parents may be proud of the man he will become."
So saying he returned the child to his mother's arms and reached his hands towards Kodros to recieve the afterbirth, this he escorted once around the circle - again sunwards - before flinging the mass of tissue into the fire. All watched as Phaedron cast the afterbirth into the flames for the ritual burning, they observed closely as the flames flickered around the mass of discarded tissue. They believed that the length of time it took for the flames to consume the matter would determine the length of Mellis' life. All hoped, for Arianna and Kodros sake, as well as that of the clan as a whole, that this child was destined to live a long and frutiful life.
As the flames caught the ceremony came to an end. The clan and their crops and food stores having been blessed the time for feasting had arrived. Seated with her son, Arianna was pleased to receive the good wishes of the other women in the camp as well as gifts of food and clothing. Her joy and delight plainly visible to all around. The men remained around the ceremonial fire long after the feasting was done, drinking and discussing the events of the past year and making plans for the coming one.
When she finally made to return to her own fire Arianna made sure to pass by the ceremonial fire to give thanks to the Priest for her child's name and to discover what the burning of the afterbirth augured for her son's life.
As she approached the mens' huddle, they drew back to let her near the fire which still burned fiercly. Shyly offering her thanks to Phaedron she was pleased to hear his pronouncement.
"It seems your son is destined to be long lived Arianna, see how the flames have barely altered the flesh. The gods have truly blessed you this night. A child, born on the night when the veil between the worlds is severed and all is in harmony - there is no more auspiscious occasion."
Arianna blushed with pride that the gods had so favoured her and her son, already she had begun to feel as if she had borne him in her own womb. The shadows of the stillborn children had withdrawn from her soul in the past few hours, the sorrow she had carried for so long was now eclipsed by the exhileration welling up inside of her. At last she was a mother and her son was to be long lived and make her proud. She offered up a prayer of thanks to the spirits walking amongst them on this night to watch over her son and support him in what she was sure would be a fruitful and profitable life
She could almost see herself as a matriarch - her son and his wife with their own numerous progeny. Their sons and daughters wed and with their own offspring. It fave her a feeling of increasing warmth inside to picture this longed for future. Kodros looked at his wife and new son with pride and affection. He too was pleased with the night's events and he also sent up a silent supplication to his forbears to guard over them all. As he glanced around the area lit by the fire it seemed to him that he could see the shadows of the elders long since dead, moving through the throng of people making their 'goodnights'.
As he turned to look towards his own home he caught his breath. There by his fire were two figures, their shoulders touching, their eyes gazing back at him and at the general scene. An air of unease settled on him for a brief moment. The figures were of a man and a woman and they were wearing clothing, the like of which he had never before seen. The man's hair was cut short and the woman's was long and of a deep reddish shade that was rarely seen in this region. They semed to be staring right at him and Arianna - at the child - indeed it felt to him as though they could see right into their very souls. Fearfully he took his wife's arm to prevent her from returning alone to their home. Taking up a brand from the edge of the fire in one hand, and placing his other arm around his wife's shoulders, he focused directly on the strangers at his hearth and began slowly to walk toward them.
Arianna's attention was solely on the face of the child now sleeping in her arms and Kodros did not wish to distract her or distress her in any way. It suddenly struck him though that, if there were any threat posed by these interlopers at his fire, he was taking his family into danger. As he faltered in his forward movement Arianna glanced up at him questioningly.
"What is it?" She asked. "Why have you stopped?"
"See there at our fire," he whispered, gesturing carefully so as not to startle the man and woman still seated together and regarding them steadily as though captured by the sight before them.
Arianna looked where her husband directed and caught her breath. She saw the man and the woman, as her husband did, but it was not their presence that made her gasp - rather it was the insubstantial nature of their forms and the resemblance that the man bore to her inward vision of the child in her arms as a grown man. It was so truly striking that it shook her poise for a moment. Then a broad smile lit her face, to her husband's astonishment, and she made a gesture of welcome towards the couple.
"See husband," she said, "It is a vision of the future. I have seen this man's face in our new son. Here he is a fully grown man."
Kodros made a doubtful comment, but she pressed on.
"This is the night when the spirits walk - is it said that only the shades of the past shall visit us? This is our son as he will be - see how handsome he is." She added proudly.
Kodros regarded the face at his fire again and then looked at the sleeping form of the child in Arianna's arms. It was uncanny how alike they looked. He should not forget either that his wife came from a long line of visionaries and teachers. Perhaps this had aided her in identifying the shades at their hearth, though who was the woman? It did not seem as if she was the wife of the man she sat with, and there was an aura of the mystical about her that was somehow different from that of her companion.. Reaching a decision that his wife's theory was correct, and that the spirits - for he could now see that these 'people' were not physically present - meant them no harm - Kodros resumed the journey home.
As they reached the circle of their own fire Kodros greeted the spectres>
"I bid you welcome, and thank you Mellis for sharing this vision of the future with us. We will love you and honour you all the days of our lives and we hope that you will do likewise. We are your parents from this day forward, for the gods have brought us together - for this I will forever make thanks."
So saying the reached his hands towards both figures in welcome and they responded in kind. Just as his fingers made contact with the foggy substance of theirs a sensation of abrasive warmth travelled up his arms and suffused his whole body. His eyes widened in surprise at this, for he had always believed that contact with the spirits would make one cold. Before he could comment on this. however, the man he had addressed as his son spoke.
"Mother, Father, the gods be thanked for giving me to you and you to me."
He then rose, as did the woman beside him, and taking a step forward he knelt at the feet of his parents and kissed, first Arianna's feet and then Kodros'. Overwhelmed by the awareness of what had occured, and cocooned in warmth from the touch of their son's lips they could only watch as he stood and, bowed to them before turning to the woman behind him. She remained silent, but smiled at both the Mellis of the future and the Mellis in Arianna's arms before taking the offered arm of her companion and turning with him away from the fire. Both figures then took two steps forward and then suddenly they were gone, dissipated into the air like the phantoms they were.
Present Day, Duncan's Cabin
A sudden gasp escaped Methos as he awoke with a start. For a moment he was disoriented as he took in the firelight and the long shadows it cast around the cabin. Catriona was beside him, also waking and seemingly bewildered to find herself there. Many things assaulted Methos' mind at that moment, not least was a most distinct impression of having been an observer at a naming feast. 'No,' he thought, 'not just a naming feast but my naming feast.' Further he knew that he had been able to interact with the people in his vision in a way that seemed more real than in many of his waking moments, and Catriona had been there too. Turning to her he noticed that she had tears in her eyes and that she was staring into the fire with a wistful expression on her face. Slowly he reached a hand to her shoulder and touched her , breaking her reverie and feeling her shaking slightly.
"What's wrong?" He queried.
"Oh nothing, it's just me being stupid." She said, wiping at her eyes with her hand and swallowing a little. "I just wish that I'd had the joy Arianna had, when my son was born."
Neither of them quetioned that the other had shared the vision, or whatever it had been, both knew instinctively that it had not been a dream and that it had ben a shared experience.
Sighing, Catriona fumbled in her pocket for a handkerchief and finally dried her face and composed herself.
Methos swallowed a sudden lump in his throat and replied, "I wonder how full of joy she would have been had she known what I would become? She would surely have run screaming from both the foundling she held, and the spirit she saw had she but known what the future held." His voice ws not bitter, but rather a deep sadness coloured his tone.
"Your Mother loved you, she yearned for you for so long, how could she not love you? How could any mother not love her child? Arianna did not bear you for nine months or give you life, but she loved you as much as any mother could. So why could I not feel that way about Matthew? Why did I feel such an active dislike of the baby in my womb? Why could I not bring myself to even consider loving him when he was first born? Did you know that, after having refused to consider an abortion as being right for me, I then almost refused to accept him at all? What kind of mother does that make me?"
Methos was slightly taken aback at Catriona's rant against herself.
"Is it not enough that you love him now?" He asked. "You are certainly devoted enough to him now."
"Am I?" She responded, anger in her voice. "Am I really? Then why do I have him cared for in a home? Why do I seem to consider my life and career moves as more important than him or his happiness? If I'm so devoted tell me how."
He'd thought her so in control, so calm and composed, that this tirade took him completely by surprise, but he responded cooly, taking her hand in one of his and her chin in his other hand he gently tilted her head up and looked her in the eye.
"The fact that you dreamed of him at Joe's house, the concern you've showed for finding a decent caring facility for him here, the way you spoke of him to us after your nightmare all indicate to me a devoted and caring mother, one who loves her son and wants the best for him. You are not gulity of loving Matthew less if you also want a career and a life. You said he is severely disabled, that he needs specialist care, both of those are reasons for needing help in looking after him and, I would think, are also reasons why you need distractions. To focus completely on his needs when you don't personally have all the skills needed to provide for him would end up making you miserable and frustrated, and unable to cope. You love your son enough to realise that - that's the devotion and love I see you demonstrate."
"And what makes you decide that I am doing all these things out of love? Could it not be seen as my duty, nothing more than is expected of me? Most people would ascribe it to a guilty conscience."
Her eyes blazed at that last, and yet in the depths of her eyes he saw despair and sadness, not anger. for a woman who knew so much about life, and understanding others, she was remarkably inept when it came to understanding herself and her motivations, he thought.
"And aren't guilt and love two sides of the same coin?" He asked gently.
"I don't know, maybe." She sighed, then she looked squarely at him again. "I'm sorry, I get depressed and then I get angry. I didn't mean to inflict it on you. Forgive me."
"Nothing to forgive, you needed to let that out, if it helped to just do that while I listened then I'm glad. I hope you didn't mind my blathering at you."
"Oh I'd not call it blathering. What you said made more sense than what I said."
She smiled at him and then, as if struck by a sudden thought, she glanced at him a little shyly - and perhaps with a hint of mischief in her eye.
"If love and guilt are two sides of the same coin," she said, "which one is it that keeps you coming back to see Duncan?"
Stunned for a moment, Methos simply stared at her and then gave a short barking laugh.
"God you know exactly how to hit your mark don't you?" He said. "Truthfully, both - though I think each battles for supremacy at different times."
"And which is in the ascendant at the moment?"
"Love," he whispered, "definitely love."
This last confession seemed to take all the emotional strength he had, and he rose from his place by the fire.
"I'll pack ready for tomorrow, Duncan will be here to collect us at eleven, might as well get a head start. I shall be going back to Paris at the end of the week. I have a viva to attend, defending my doctorate. I'll be back again in time for the end of October. After that we'll see what happens. Maybe I should talk to Duncan and maybe I should just make a clean break."
"But you have other friends than Duncan here. Joe and I will miss you too, and I'm sure there are others who would love you to stay around."
"I wouldn't be so sure," Methos said, "but in any case I promised Joe I'd be around for Halloween, I said I'd help at the bar."
"Are you going to tell him it's also your birthday?" She asked, thinking that perhaps a celebration might be just the thing to lift his spirits and convince him of his place in his friend's lives.
He shrugged.
"Never remembered when it was before, but I suppose I could celebrate it know that I know when it is." He said grudgingly.
Then, excusing himself once more he went to start packing.
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